Why We Overthink: The Reasons Behind Worry and Rumination and How to Break the Cycle

Andrew Curreri, Ph.D.
September 4, 2025

Overthinking: What is it and Why do we do it?

Of all the reasons people seek therapy, one of the reasons we see most often here at Soho Integrative EMDR is a desire to get“unstuck” from negative thought cycles.

The tendency to overthink—to overanalyze situations or think excessively about a certain topic—is very human, and most people can probably relate to falling into this pattern at one time or another.

But for some people, overthinking can become an ingrained habit that keeps us stuck and stops us from being fully present. This is especially true for those who struggle with other mental health issues. In fact, across most of the diagnostic labels the mental health system assigns people—from depression to anxiety to posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)—negative thought cycles are a common concern.

Key takeaway:

Overthinking often reinforces the cycle of feeling stuck, especially when tied to anxiety, depression, or trauma.

Types of Overthinking: Worry, Rumination, and Obsession

What we call “overthinking” goes by many different names: worry, rumination, and obsession, to name a few. Each of these terms refers to a slightly different thought process.

Worry

Worry involves focusing on a negative future outcome (or many possible outcomes) and is often accompanied by a feeling of anxiety.

Generally, anxiety tends to pull our thoughts in a negative direction. This is because our brains are wired to prioritize processing information about threat or danger that might be important for our survival. This is why, when we are worrying about the future, we tend to focus on worst-case scenarios.

These thoughts make us feel more anxious, which makes us focus even more intently on negative information—keeping us stuck in a cycle.

Examples of worry thoughts:

  • “If I let my child go on the school trip, what if the bus crashes?”
  • “I might not do well on my next performance review, which means I will get fired, and then how will I pay my bills?”

Rumination

Whereas worry thoughts are focused on the future, rumination tends to be focused on something from the past or an ongoing situation.

Often, ruminative thoughts are self-critical. Many people with a tendency to ruminate experience emotions like sadness, anger, or guilt while stuck in thought spirals.

Like with worry, the negative emotions that accompany rumination keep our attention focused on negative details, trapping us in a cycle of negative thinking.

Examples of rumination thoughts:

  • “I never should have gone to that event. I made a fool of myself because I was anxious. Everyone is going to remember how awkward I was. Why am I like this?”
  • “What if I had spoken up sooner? Maybe I could have even fought back against the person who hurt me. Then I might be in a different situation today.”

Obsession

Obsessive thought loops usually start with an intrusive thought accompanied by a sense of urgency, as if the brain is saying that there is a problem that needs to be solved right now.

Even more so than worry and rumination, obsessive thoughts can feel uncontrollable—this is why many people with obsessive thoughts look for any strategy they can find to end the spiral.

Often, people will engage in compulsions to quiet their obsessions. Compulsions are repetitive behaviors that bring about a short-term sense of relief, like seeking reassurance from others or double (or triple) checking to make sure you did something correctly.

Examples of obsessive thoughts:

  • “What if I forgot to lock the door and someone breaks in?”
  • “What if I am sick and I don’t know it yet, and I get someone else sick?”

Where Does It Come From?

It is important to acknowledge that most people worry, ruminate, or experience intrusive thoughts from time to time—especially during periods of high stress.

Focusing our thinking on topics that feel upsetting or even painful—like a recent breakup or even a childhood trauma—is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be a crucial aspect of healing from these experiences.

As humans, we have the capacity to use our thinking to work for us, by:

  • Anticipating and solving future problems
  • Understanding ourselves and those around us
  • Helping process difficult emotions.

But for those with histories of trauma, unmet needs early in life, mental health disorders like anxiety or depression, or neurodivergent information processing, our innate drive for problem-solving and emotional processing can transform into worry, rumination, or obsession.

When this begins to interfere with other aspects of life—perhaps by leading us to avoid doing things we value, or by taking our time and energy away from relationships or work—it is time to consider reaching out for support.

Key takeaway:

“Overthinking” can be adaptive when it leads to problem-solving, emotional clarity, or coping with stress, but it becomes problematic when it interferes with daily life.

Why Do We Overthink? 7 Common Reasons

Most people who struggle with overthinking would probably say there is no benefit to it. It is distracting, stirs up uncomfortable emotions, and takes time away from things we care about.

But sometimes, these thinking patterns developed to help us meet a need, and it can help to reflect on the function, or purpose, that our overthinking serves.

1. It gives us a sense of control or certainty

Some people get the most stuck when thinking about topics that are outside of their control, like what others think of them. On some level, worrying about these topics can feel like we are gaining a small sense of control.

This helps us understand why people turn to worry during times of high stress: when things around us seem out of control, we try to feel in-control however we can, as if we can prevent a negative outcome if only we think about it long enough.

Similarly, people who are less comfortable with uncertainty are more likely to get caught up in worry spirals and obsessions. The more uncertain the situation, the more room the brain has to “fill in the blanks,” usually with worst-case scenarios.

In situations where negative outcomes are possible and concrete solutions exist that can mitigate them, it can be adaptive to anticipate worst case scenarios and take action to prevent them. But in situations where negative outcomes are unlikely, or risks can’t be fully mitigated, overthinking becomes more of a hindrance than a helper.

2. It helps us feel prepared

Sometimes, we overthink about how well we can manage anxiety-provoking situations. For example:

  • Some people find themselves getting stuck mentally reviewing their to-do lists over and over at the expense of being productive in the moment.
  • People with social anxiety may excessively “rehearse” social interactions in advance.
  • People who are prone to panic attacks often worry about when their next panic attack will occur, which may then lead them to avoid situations that might spike their anxiety.

Across these examples, overthinking serves the purpose of feeling more prepared for scary situations—but in doing so, it cultivates more anxiety, keeps us detached from the present moment, and ultimately makes it harder for us to manage the situations successfully

3. It keeps our guard up

Have you ever had a hard time relaxing because you were wondering when the “other shoe will drop,” so to speak?

If so, you may have been avoiding what some researchers call an “emotional contrast,” or a sudden uptick in negative emotions after a stressor.

Some people overthink even when things are going relatively well because it prevents us from experiencing an emotional contrast. In other words, it can feel easier to cope when things go wrong if we never let our guards down to begin with.

4. It helps us avoid other emotions

When our attention is taken up by our thoughts, it leaves little room for us to attend to our feelings. Some overthinkers automatically enter “thinking mode” as a way to avoid fully experiencing their emotions. In fact, some research shows that worrying can actually reduce how strongly fear manifests in the body.

Similarly, some people may ruminate on a feeling, like anger, as a way to avoid a different feeling, like vulnerability. Some may also worry, ruminate, or obsess over a particular topic as a way to avoid thinking about an even more upsetting issue that needs attention.

Key Takeaway:

The feelings we try hardest to avoid likely serve a purpose and need to be welcomed in and processed—overthinking to avoid those feelings only causes them to linger on unresolved.

5. It offers us insight into ourselves

When we engage in self-reflection, it is usually to try to gain some insight into ourselves or to better understand a situation from the past.

For those who are prone to depression or anxiety, what starts as healthy introspection may quickly spiral into full-blown rumination. But because it feels like we are learning about ourselves or gaining clarity into the past, it can be hard to put the thoughts to rest.

This is especially true for individuals who have experienced trauma or loss that hasn’t been fully processed.

6. It has become a habit

Overthinking can become so ingrained that it happens out of habit, without necessarily having a specific purpose in the moment.

As a survival mechanism, the brain learns to associate negative emotions, especially fear and anxiety, with the situations in which we feel them the most.

For example:

  • If you often feel anxious in bed, your brain may learn to associate being in bed with being anxious. This can cause worry thoughts to creep in when you are trying to sleep.
  • If social media triggers anxiety about the future or self-critical rumination, your brain may become primed over time to start overthinking as soon as you start scrolling.

7. It was modeled early in life

Often, the coping strategies we use most naturally are the ones that we were exposed to early in life.

Many overthinkers report having grown up with parents who worried or ruminated out loud a lot. When we are exposed to this early on, we internalize messages about how uncontrollable or unsafe the world is and how we are supposed to handle unpredictable or upsetting situations.

These internalized beliefs can then impact how we perceive threats in the world and how we cope with whatever stress, loss, and trauma we encounter for ourselves later in life.

How Therapy and EMDR Help Break the Overthinking Cycle

Even when overthinking serves a purpose, it often comes with many costs.

Although it can be hard to relinquish the sense of control or safety that overthinking sometimes provides, its impact on our relationships, productivity, and quality of life often lead people to seek support to overcome it.

People who overthink often benefit from an integrative approach to therapy that balances skill-building and emotional processing.

Understanding the functions that overthinking serves—which differ from person to person—can help you and your therapist select treatment techniques that best fit your needs.

Some of the skills that may help you manage overthinking include:

  • Behavioral skills that help you change the factors that keep overthinking ingrained as a habit
  • Cognitive skills that strengthen your ability to reframe or “talk back” to your inner voices
  • Mindfulness skills that boost your capacity to detach from your thoughts and connect with your feelings

In addition to skills, deeper emotional processing is often necessary to work through past experiences that have given rise to current anxieties.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an approach that helps people identify experiences from their past—such as losses, life-threatening traumas, or chronic mistreatment—that have not been fully processed.

When left unprocessed, these experiences can leave us with lingering effects on our mental health:

  • A sense of the world as an unsafe place
  • Overly critical beliefs about ourselves
  • A feeling that the trauma never truly ended

During EMDR, you work with a therapist to process the memories of these experiences, which can lead to a shift in your sense of safety and your beliefs about yourself, leading in turn to a reduction in symptoms like overthinking.

Key takeaway:

Therapy works best when it helps you address both the habit of overthinking and the deeper experiences that may have shaped it.

Moving Forward

At Soho Integrative EMDR, we understand that everyone who struggles with overthinking has a unique story. That’s why we tailor our integrative approach to fit your needs, taking time to understand what has shaped your inner voice in the past and develop a treatment plan that can help you quiet your mind. With the help of a psychologist at Soho Integrative EMDR, you can harness your inner voice to work for you, not against you.

Andrew Curreri, Ph.D.
September 4, 2025