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If you’ve ever wondered what EMDR actually feels like, you’re not alone. Because EMDR works differently than traditional talk therapy, many people imagine something overwhelming or emotionally intense. But the real experience is often quite different—gentler, more spacious, and deeply clarifying.
EMDR is rooted in the Adaptive Information Processing model, which teaches that our minds and bodies are naturally wired to heal. Trauma interrupts that system—like a splinter in a cut—and EMDR helps remove the splinter so your natural healing mechanisms can take over.
So what does that feel like?
During EMDR, previously stored emotions can begin to move again.
This can feel tender, emotional, or unfamiliar. However:
Most people learn quickly that the emotions were never the threat—
the lack of support around them was.
One of EMDR’s core strengths is dual awareness:
having one foot in the memory and one foot in the present.
This means:
Clients often say, “I felt the emotion—but I also felt supported while feeling it.”
Because EMDR targets the neural networks where trauma is stored, emotional shifts can happen earlier than expected. Many clients experience:
The EMDR protocol is intentionally structured to support these shifts in a safe and organized way.
A frequent early experience in EMDR is a feeling of “slow motion,” where internal events become easier to track. This slowing down helps you notice:
Rather than overwhelming you, EMDR often brings clarity.
For many people, it is the first time they can observe their inner world without fear.
As EMDR progresses, clients usually become more skilled at recognizing signs of dysregulation and responding with greater confidence. This leads to:
The trauma isn’t erased—but its power diminishes.
The memory no longer dictates the present.
For most people, EMDR feels slower, gentler, and more manageable than expected.
Thanks to dual awareness, you remain anchored in the present while exploring the past.
That said, beginning any therapy or opening up emotionally can feel vulnerable.
Being honest with yourself and your therapist helps keep the process safe and effective.
No. EMDR does not require you to relive your trauma.
You revisit the memory enough for your brain to reprocess it, but you do not re-experience it the way it originally happened. The goal is to complete what your nervous system couldn’t complete at the time so the memory becomes less charged and more integrated.
EMDR works directly with the brain systems where traumatic material is stored.
Because of this, many clients notice early changes such as:
These shifts happen because EMDR targets the root cause of what kept them stuck. It's important to note that for some it will take more time to feel relief and that is okay as well.
Feeling numb is common and completely valid.
Numbness is usually a protective part of your system—not a sign of failure.
People who lacked emotional support earlier in life often learned to disconnect to stay safe. EMDR gently helps these protective parts soften at a pace that feels right for you.
Dr. Rebecca Hoffenberg is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in trauma, EMDR therapy, and mind–body approaches to emotional healing. She serves as the Senior EMDR Specialist at Soho Integrative EMDR. Dr. Hoffenberg has extensive experience supporting clients through complex trauma, anxiety, relationship challenges, and recovery from chronic stress. Her work integrates EMDR, attachment-focused therapy, and somatic awareness to help clients reconnect with clarity, resilience, and self-compassion.
Dr. Hoffenberg is dedicated to making trauma therapy feel safe, accessible, and empowering. Through her clinical practice and writing, she helps people understand how healing actually works and what it feels like to move toward emotional freedom.